7 June

So here i am back in the cosy uk. Feels weird as shit. Anyway, they are some last details that I must go over before I could even consider this blog as being finalised.
So last weekend Clive took me to my first BUSH RAVE!! I guess the nearest thing they have in the uk is the orbital raves around the M25. Well it was a three hour drive - me, clive and the humble driver whos name I could never even pronounce never mind spell, but ill have a go - crytoman - or someone along those lines. Well anyway they both have indian origins. But ive never met crazier people, Clive is especially mecurial - last time we went out into sydney togther with the hostel people, he got beaten up by bouncers, twice as he and the great deutch boys managed to find about 30 free schooners from the last bar we went too - when i say 'find' they really went to the bar upstairs which is open with no security and let havoc loose, it was hilarious, they kept coming out of nowhere holding about 12 schooners between them. Then the stupid move - naturally i was curious where these drinks were coming from and so clive took me upstairs. We started the pouring but one of the bouncers came up, he was getting suspicious! Ha - well anyway back to last weekend.
The guy had ur average youthful toyota - but the engine was powerful compared to uk cars - but that goes for all oz cars - 2 litres or such. Anyway it was a 3hour drive - we loaded up on booze on the way and then tore down the highway heading north, towards newcastle. After two hours we started to get into the wilderness, long winding roads with few signs of settlement. At first the odd light, with fences and maybe even a tracktor, but pretty soon pitch black. As we got closer we could faintly hear some tribal beats echoing. This is the point of mass dirtiness on the cars part. These hills strang out of nowhere, steep as hell. With the metal to the peddle and crytoman swinging the wheel furiosly from left to right we tried to fly up them. Me and clive had to keep going out to reduce weight and then push to help him; this happened about 5 times. Then there was suddenly a queue behind us. We let the 4by4 pass, which elegantly spun by, mud flying everywhere. Ah yes, i forgot to mention, it was raining hard and so was muddy as hell, the car got a new coating that night. After this 4by4 a caravan tried its luck, even this badboy couldnt make this hill. But second time it made it. Then finally crytoman came soaring up like a bullet. Apparently he really liked that car. Well in a way it proved itself. Apparently in the following days he was saying the suspension wasnt so great.
We finally got up there, mud all over me leather jacket and face. And the rest of the night was sheer madness, there was like a dancefloor, pounding trance, with a big spider net woven over the top of eveything, and bright phlospherent lights from the music, big red love hearts glowing translucently. I got taking to this really hot chick. But then got distracted somehow by the several fires - it was a pyromaniacs heaven the place. Then all i can say is the most intense, craziest night crept up and bang! Out there! Suddenly hit by the wave and all features became featureless and all beings and beers beatiful as if they had been there, locked in this paradise, since the dawn of man. A crazy day.
The light came up and an assortment of freaks with dreads and colourful hair were on the dancefloor. Clive among them, letting the music breathe inside of him.
We gt out of there later. What a hangover cure - regional NSW, breathtaking views of greenery with trees so dense and luscious and little trickles of springs and gentle, undulating rivers, with the land being pasteurized. We could see the hills that we had came up, and obviously wen still had some mental ones on the way back, but didnt ever need to get out. Which I doubt we ever would have bothered with. It was crazy what we had managed to get up.
Anyway - that was that night. We got dropped off at a train station and talked bollocks to stranger all the way back to newtown. I had to work later that night, which i somehow got away with.

Also, before the rave - rich was like theres gonna be a surprise for you. And the next day johnny was broke. He'd had a great time up the east coast but was broke. It was great to have a last week wit the dude. For awhile i chilled.
We went out for my last night, clive me johnny and two of the girls joined us later. We went to kings cross and met josh - the crazy nut who got kicked out of the abbey. It was great fun. But I got into a fight later - and thats why ive come back with a black-eye! HEHE! Anyway it feels strange being back. Stopping off at bangkok on the way back - the sweltering heat geting out of the airpor, wit the tropical plans - made me realise how gutted i was i ddnt get to do asia - well for the future!!
So thats my epic adventure, said gdbye to all the lovely ppl of the abbey, shoudl have some money coming into my anz, when richard pays my bet money in, which I think was arriving the day after I left australia! And also some tax money will go in mid-july. So there it is. Read well, live well, and hope to drinking with you all soon!xxxx

28th again

About thailand, what about visa - i was talking to english girl who went there recelty - she was like they'll only let you in if got a ticket out of thai - luckily i do. But ye, im not sure what to expect - im not really worried about it though, i gues ill go straight to cow-sun road and meet other backp0akcers. I dont really have th m,oney to travel anywhere else in thailand now.

28th May

So heres the situation.
My flight is booked for 3.30 tomos. I was thinking bout putting it back to this tuesday, and I probably still could if i rang them early enough tomos morning. Anyway, i was watching champions league final last night at 4.30am so slept most of the day away. Then went down to albertos restaurant - I feel bad, because the p[lace is great, the manager seems really cool, and it actually looks like a really cool place to work. But the guy is talking bout training me up for 2 weeks and such, and talking like hes expecting me to be there a while. I asked about the money, and he said he could pay me after each shift if i wanted. So I could do a few shifts \, cos im still paid for training and then just high-tail it out - but as i said this would be completely dishonest, the blokes a gd guy, i dont really want to f**k him over - all for the sake of a few bucks - it probs wouldnt amount to that much, what with rent and all. Its a shame cos ive just finally managed to find decent work, which would sustain me - but the deadline is fast approaching.
About the tax - ive been filling it out online, but its complicvated and long-winded - my mate rich has gone to an accountant, it'll take him 2-4 weeks to get it - and me online takes 6 weeks. So tbh i really might not bother, its not that much anyway.

At the moment i've got $170, i got another shift at the week at the adult store, which gave me a little more. And obviously with paying rent tomos, ill be $120 down.
So basically what im thinking is i should take that flight tomorow. See how long i can survive in bangkok and then get a flight home. Im completely pissed off about asia - i have no money for it, and the passport thing buggered me.

The bet money - so obviously i shud be getting $530 from tabcorp. They still haven't even notified me if i got the money - but if anythings fair then i shud be getting it. My mate rich says he'll pay it into my anz account and take a 10% stake for doing it. I think ill take him up on it, cos the money would help pay off certain credit card debts and such.
Ill need to go ealry tomos to tell anz that ill be going to thailand to use account there. Thats if i leave.
But im more for leaving tomos than staying.
Any advice from yours truly(anyone, but especially parents) would be appreciated on my curent predicament. But really I want to be leaving very soon. I just dont no - cos hanging on i may be able to get more shifts at adult shop, which would help - and obviously go to accountant for tax purposes and maybe get my bet money - but tbh i dont even no if that bet money will ever arrive.
Tabcorp are complete bastards to be honest, when I had to pay for the damaged ticket form i could sent off a cheque or money oreder (i went for the latter) but they have a policy of only sending me the MONEY! 500 in hard cash in an envelope! And im sure they wouldnt listen if that 500 dollars would "somehow" slip into the wrong hands on the way to me.
Anyway-enough anger. Ive also been having fun - the hostel is a great atmosphere - one thing that strikes me is that these travellers are pretty much broke, or indeed very poor, but there always ready to gave. Ive had several gourmet meals that have been cooked for me and others at the hostel - swedish meatballs, chicken cooked in coke, sushi, indian prok ribs from clive - great indian mate who wants to take me to a 'bush rave' this weekend, one of the reasons i wanted to stay on - but this would no doubt be a serious drain on the funds. I always shout them a beer to say thanks, and i cooked up loads of tacos last night for everyone. Ive always been generous, back at home as well, but ive noticed that the generosity that you gave with these sort of ppl always come back to you, theres always someone who will give u a beer, food or any other commodity - whereas back in the uk it wasnt so much like that - probs cos i mainly associate with middle-class wankers! Obviously not directed to my friends there.

Anyway so thats it. Advice? Much love, be seeing you all soon, excited bout seeing the lovely ppl of uk, and the great country of england and all its splendors. xx

24th May

I have just insished work at the adult shop where i have worked all night. it is exactly 10.07am here. I worked from 9pm to 7am, desperate for the money. I made $140. But i only have $50 in my account atmo, and next friday my rent will be $120. So i have $50 to live on. I myt get more shifts in the week, but frankie says its packed quite full, so probs only wkends. But on thursday i am starting a job at a restaurant down the road, i just hope i can keep myself alive till then. I will try to get my tax back cos i need it. And if that damn $500 from the bet will come then ill be fine! The passport hasnt arrived either, it must've been over 13 days...This guy paul at the hostel says same thing happened to him, hes english, hes been waiting 3 weeks and still no passport. If they pull that trick with me my flights will run out. I no im sounding stressed, but im not really - only half-delirious from no sleep. Ive been reading about the liberation and cultural awareness of the
60s - in a book, published might i add by FABER & FABER, called the story of jimi hendrix and post-war pop. Very intriguing stuff, its soprt of set my brain into a motion of peace and hippiness, heightened by reading of sexual liberations which is particularly relevant after working 10 hours at an adult shop, helping the dear people of this world fulfill their basic insticts in whatever fashion their superegos fill fit to ask of them. Anyway i lost the point of writing.

Point is im low on funds - but success! the money from the consulate has gone through on my halifax card, so the bastards have their stinking $279 - ha! The swedes only have to pay $100 - and is that because britian is a far-superior place to sweden! - complkete bull.
But my halifax account reads -51pound - but take into account overdraft i have the little sum of 48pound, but then double this and you get dollar(sort-of) and presto - im in the money!
Well sarcasm is always hard to portray when firstly you hate the form of humour in the first place and secondly it doesnt come out so obviously in the written form. All of which at the moment is being written by a semi-deliousinal freak - high on caffeine and stinking of booze. Ha! But that is the constant stench of all backpackers - so no fear!

Anyway, if i can keep myself alive till thursday i may be able to bring myself back from the brink of non-existence. So my plan - to save up money, if i can get work, whiulst waiting for passport, get a bit for thailand, and carry some back to UK to start paying off my ever-increasing debts.

I went to the writers festival last week - very intersting, lots of strange poets and old people sipping on lattes constantly. Some of it was good, very interesting. One of the workshops would have probably benefited my writing greatly - but alas, it was expensive and they sold out in a giffy.

Anyway, till next time. Where most probably ill be back to my coherent, but nervertheless dishevelled, whole. Much love to all my readers, whoever the hell you are! Now sod off and watch eastenders!

20th May

Well they let me bak in on one condition, i got pay $20 more a week. It was dave who helped me out, hes bneen real kl since the get-go, cos the other guy really wanted to kick me out. I like the place, got lots of friends ther, but mostly staying ther now cos its convient with my passport coming. Anyho, the payment i think, has been processed so shud come soon, then ill prob move to this hotel which i found; again its only a 100 a week. Ill prob hav to wait longer for bet money to come through. So im undecided how much longer to spend in oz.
In terms of other things going on, the writers festival is on atmo, and so i plan to capuitalise - seeing as loads of the events are free, but also might splash out on a few things which look to interesting to turn a blind eye. And also planning on at some point heading out to the country to check out some regional NSW; I've got some friends who are interested in doing this with me, its just a case of logistics and planning, cos they need to get paid or whatever. The festival runs all this week and finished on sunday. I managed to get some work this sat night, unfortunately for those who care it will be at adult shop, cos its been hard getting anything else.
But this night i got a call from albertos restaurant down the road, they said they can give me three days a week on 15 an hour, and paid training. I start next thursday. So I may do this to save up a wee bit of money for my most probably VERY SHORT affair in thailand. Im gonna treat thailand as a short holiday-chillout period, which kinda sucks as wanted to travel and see asia, but shit happens.

18th May

So I;ve been kicked out. We been partying quite hard lately, and people been complaining. Well it was SATURDAY night you no? We all got back about 5.30 in morn and thers a whole big group of us, so bit rowdy, i put ion some chillout music gently on the speakers. Well thers this guy (OISIN) whos been staying ther, who sort-of works for them now. Hes alright but he was told to try and keep things down recently. Well it was all quiet but then obviously we came back,and he was out trying to get us down and quiter, I complied, turned the music off and such. All of a sudden simon, the owner, is on the phone threatening to kick me out, I told him i'd turned the music off. Yesterday I spoke to dave the other gy who works there, he cut me some slack, rang up simon and they agreed they'd give me one more chance. Clive, my mate, also nearly got kicked out, but he was smoking inside and such, I never did that! And then this afternoon, I got a ring from my mate rich saying simon wants to talk to me, and suddenly its reverted to yersterday. Hes adamant and wont budge, so thers nothing for me to do but to go. Ive pleaded enough times and the whole thing is a heap of bullshit. They're basically kicking me out because they wanted to make an "example" so this doesnt happen again. But I think its unfair, they were loads of ppl and Im taking all the blame. I said this to simon obviously, and he was like "well nominate someone to go then" - im no rat, im not doing that.
So here i am in an internet cafe looking for other hostels. One of the main problems (apart from having to waste food that I cant bring, say gdbye to all the great friends ive made...) is the money, the placve is the cheapest hostel in sydney and its gonna be hard to find somewhere where I wont need to spend too much, considering my funds are so low. Also the passport and bet money is coming to hostel. Well they took my no. and simon said he'll ring me when it comes. I tried to get in touch wtith carmel from my last job, she said she myt be able to get me work, otherwise im gonna have to go back to frankie in k.cross.
Ive gotta find somewhere new basically, theres one other place in newtown but doesnt have any space till 21st. I might go camping somehwere. Hell, I dont no.
Its come at a bad time, I mean i was gonna be leaving soon. Ill lean to it again and see what happens...

14th MAY

So i felt alot better after two days, and back to the partying way of the hostel. Going out for mates gdbye celebration and such. Gd healthy fun. Problem was I may have exhausted myself or something; a swelling appeared on my cheek which hurt to press and I went down another night feeling like shit, more of the flu symptoms but worse with dizzying headache - a proper nights sleep had the desired affect, and although rundown Im on my feet again. Anyhow, papers for passport and bet sent off, so just a matter of time. I really want to get away, been looking around: theres a national park at north of sydney which looks kl. Or truck up to the Myall lakes and coffs harbour, all looks appealing, just how to get there needs to be established. My money is also draining which is putting on pressure on getting new job, ive been looking around, some interest from restaurants and cafes in area so hoepfully find something - but considering Im coming to the end of my stay I'd like to get out, see something new. Melbourne is on the cards as well, I just dont think ill have money for return plane ticket.

Well thats whats happening, just sort of in limbo, waiting for passport details and such, but things generally back to gd old solid funness! But the place is starting to drive me nuts, a breath of fresh country air is well overdue. I got a friend who was talking bout renting car and heading out, this sounded gd, but he isnt going for at least a week, and not sure the wait will be worth it. I myt be able to see if rides are going on gumtree and prob find someone from hostel whos interested in coming along for the ride. Anyway, thats the deal! Much lovexx